Maria’s Baby Loss Experience
Tell us about your immediate family prior to your pregnancy loss.
We were a family of three; my husband, my two year old son,and me.
How did you find out you were pregnant?
I was a few days late so I took a pregnancy test at home. Actually, I think I did like 3 of them.
Did you tell your family and loved ones about the pregnancy?
I only told my immediate family and a few of my closest friends once the doctor confirmed
the pregnancy. I waited to tell everyone else once I was 12 weeks pregnant. I made the announcement via a Facebook post.
What were the events leading up to you knowing something was wrong?
Once we found out I was pregnant with more than one baby, I was referred to a perinatal doctor. At the time, I was almost 38 years old so I was considered high risk. Everything looked good, babies had a strong heartbeat. However, at 12 weeks, I went in for one of my appointments
and after they did a sonogram, the doctor informed me that only one baby had a heartbeat.
What happened the day of your pregnancy loss?
Nothing, it was a normal day. I didn’t feel any different, and had been dealing with the morning sickness (all day).
What happened once you were told the baby didn’t make it?
I was in shock. I can’t describe what I felt that day. I had gone to the appointment by myself because my husband had to pick up my two year old from daycare. I remember the nurse sat with me for a bit, then I left the doctor’s office.
How did you process the news?
It took me a few days for the news to sink in. When I went back in for my next appointment, I was hoping they would tell me that it was a mistake.
How did you break the news to those who knew about the pregnancy?
I called my parents and told my brothers and friends via text.
When did you realize you needed help processing your loss?
I think that was one of my mistakes, I didn’t seek help.
Which comfort items/friends/support groups could you rely on?
I heavily relied on my husband and my closest friends. I didn’t want anything to affect my baby because I still had him to think about. Every time I went in for a sonogram, I worried the doctor would tell me I lost my other baby.
If there was one piece of advice you would like to share with someone/a family who just experienced a pregnancy loss, what would it be?
Don’t try to go through it yourself. Seek help from someone outside of your family, other women who have gone through the same thing as you have.